The Pain of Butterflies
by Shenandoah Risu
Summary: Col. Young goes to check on Lt. James when she doesn't show up for duty. Missing scene from "Pain".


**Title: The Pain of Butterflies  
Author: Shenandoah Risu  
Category**: SGU, Angst. H/C, Missing Scene  
**Characters**: Everett Young, Vanessa James  
**Rating**: PG  
**Status**: Complete  
**Season/ Spoilers**: Season One, "Pain"  
**Archive**: Please ask me first  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own SGU. I wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, Young... Young I'd know what to do with... ;-)

"James?"

No answer. Young touches the door release. The panels slide apart, and the sight of her hits him like a fist to the guts.

She sits on the bed hugging her legs, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and panties, her hair a disheveled mess, her face streaked with tears.

And he experiences a moment of déjà vu so powerful it makes him reel.

_He hears her cries as he walks in the front door. His mother stands there, her hands covering her face, sobbing. He hurries up the stairs and very nearly collides with his father storming out of his sister's room, his face distorted with rage. He pushes him out of the way, stomps down the stairs and slams the door on his way out. Everett knocks on the door._

"_Vanessa?"_

_There's no answer. He enters quietly._

_She sits on the bed hugging her legs,_ _wearing_ _nothing but a t-shirt and panties,_ _her hair a disheveled mess, her face streaked with tears._

_He kneels down in front of her._

"_Hey," he says softly, "It's okay, he's gone."_

_She lifts her head, the tears streaming down her face. "I am so sorry," she whispers, "Oh God, I'm so sorry."_

_He shakes his head, not knowing what she's talking about and reaches out to gently brush the hair from her face. She sobs and grabs his hand. He_ _feels her trembling._

"_Vanessa."_

_Moving closer, he sits down on the bed and wraps his arms around her. She cries, her tears soaking into his shirt, her hands clawing at his back as if to find purchase, as if to stop herself from falling, from drowning._

_He rocks her slowly, stroking her hair, her back. "Shhh, it's okay, Butterfly, he's gone. It's going to be all right."_

_The feeling of helplessness is overwhelming, but he knows what he has to do._

_And he feels very much alone._

He inhales deeply, forcing himself back to the here and now.

She lifts her head, the tears streaming down her face. "I am so sorry," she whispers, unable to say more

He shakes his head, not knowing what she's talking about. Coming closer he carefully touches her hand and then reaches out to gently brush the hair from her face. She sobs and grabs his hand. He feels her trembling.

"Vanessa."

Moving closer, he sits down on the bed and wraps his arms around her. She cries, her tears soaking into his shirt, her hands clawing at his back as if to find purchase, as if to stop herself from falling, from drowning.

He rocks her slowly, stroking her hair, her back. "Shhh, it's okay, Butterfly. It's going to be all right."

He doesn't know how long it takes for her to calm down a little. She keeps staring at the same spot on the floor. He reaches for her BDU pants, moving slowly and carefully so as not to spook her. She leans limply against him as he gets her dressed, pulling on pants, socks and boots. He toggles his radio.

"TJ, I'm on my way with Lt. James."

She resists when he tries to lead her out of the room.

"What about him?"

At a loss for words he searches her face, trying to see what she sees.

"It can wait," he finally replies, and she stumbles along reluctantly as puts his arm around her shoulders.

He draws a shuddering breath and wishes there was a police department, a social services agency he could go to, people he could dump this mess on, someone else to deal with this crisis. The feeling of helplessness is overwhelming, but he knows what he has to do. She's his responsibility, and he'll do the best he can.

And suddenly, once again, he feels very much alone.

_The name Vanessa _

_Origin__: Greek _

_Meaning__: Butterfly. Also, from Phanessa, the mystic goddess of an ancient Greek brotherhood._

_._


End file.
